Today marks day 10, which happens to be 10 days away from my departure to Kenya. I find myself with tears in my eyes almost every day, overcome with countless emotions about my trip: excitement, nervousness, anxiety, fear, joy, overwhelment. To my surprise, the emotion that has shown up consistently (and relentlessly) is fear.
It's a funny thing, fear. It so easily starts to take over, occupying fearless places of your mind, creating stories. I couldn't help but wonder, what am I fearful of? And why? When I started this challenge, my intention was "go with the flow." Every practice is different, our bodies react differently every day, not to mention our minds. I committed to taking on each practice as a brand new one, and embracing the emotional rollercoaster that each one would bring.
During my practice today, some answers surfaced around my fear. The theme of the class was "shift your perspective." What did I need to shift my perspective on? My practice? No. A relationship? No. A situation? Not today. As I started to breathe and move it became so clear, like huge letters on the wall screaming at me. I need to shift my perspective around my fear. I've let my feelings of excitement, joy, and overwhelment be taken over by fear, creating stories that I'm not prepared, won't be enough for these people, and won't have the tools to deal with the transformative journey I'm about to embark on.
The shift that needs to take place is so evident to me: rather than be fearful, I choose to be vulnerable. With vulernability comes utter authenticity and the rawest version of me. Choosing to be vulernable, rather than fearful, is, ironically, freeing. There's nothing to fear with authenticity - I know I will show up raw, organically, and fully.
In 10 days I will embark on the biggest journey of my life thus far. I'm prepared, and ready. So, bring on the vulnerability! And when you unroll your mat tomorrow, ask yourself: "Where can I shift my perspective?" You might be surprised.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
The Beginning
Yesterday I started a 30-day yoga challenge. For some people, 30 days of yoga may sound like a piece of cake. Not for me. I'll run a marathon for fun or do pull-ups until my hands bleed, but do yoga 30 days in a row? That's a scary challenge for me. But I'm kind of addicted to challenge anyway, so...
Luckily, I work with the coolest people in Houston (at lululemon athletica Highland Village). We're openly obsessed with creating the future through goal setting and holding each other accountable. At the first mention that I might want to try a 30-day yoga challenge after the CrossFit Games, I had a handful of people who wanted to join me. Before I knew it, my regional manager and almost my entire team had committed to the challenge as well. At that point, there was no turning back. I promised I would start a blog for us to share our experiences with each other and our friends. And that was the beginning of The Yoga Experiment.
Day 1 was a rainy day in Houston, which I almost used as an excuse to delay the start of my challenge. But iTunes to the rescue - I downloaded a free podcast by Dave Farmar, did yoga in my living room, and learned that there really is no excuse to miss a day.
Day 2 (today) I went to BIG Yoga, with my brand new, Pow Pink The Mat. Obviously I couldn't start this journey without a new mat!
As I flowed through the 75-minute class, in a room full of people but alone with my thoughts, I had a little epiphany. The teacher, Cristina, had just called utkatasana (chair pose) for probably the fifth time. If you do yoga, you know this is one of the most unloved poses. It only takes a few seconds for the burn to spread down your quads. I instantly thought, "Oh sh*t - is she going to make us hold this for long? Please let it be for just one breath. How long?! HOW LONG?!?!?" And then came my realization. I had no idea how long I'd be holding the pose. Absolutely no way of knowing. Beyond that, I had no control over what she would say next. Hmmm...
It's like life, right? Why do we worry, or even waste brain space just thinking about things that are entirely out of our control? By the way, she did make us hold the pose for a while. And as soon as I stopped wondering when the pose would end, I was able to breathe a lot easier and just embrace the burn.
Luckily, I work with the coolest people in Houston (at lululemon athletica Highland Village). We're openly obsessed with creating the future through goal setting and holding each other accountable. At the first mention that I might want to try a 30-day yoga challenge after the CrossFit Games, I had a handful of people who wanted to join me. Before I knew it, my regional manager and almost my entire team had committed to the challenge as well. At that point, there was no turning back. I promised I would start a blog for us to share our experiences with each other and our friends. And that was the beginning of The Yoga Experiment.
Day 1 was a rainy day in Houston, which I almost used as an excuse to delay the start of my challenge. But iTunes to the rescue - I downloaded a free podcast by Dave Farmar, did yoga in my living room, and learned that there really is no excuse to miss a day.
Day 2 (today) I went to BIG Yoga, with my brand new, Pow Pink The Mat. Obviously I couldn't start this journey without a new mat!
As I flowed through the 75-minute class, in a room full of people but alone with my thoughts, I had a little epiphany. The teacher, Cristina, had just called utkatasana (chair pose) for probably the fifth time. If you do yoga, you know this is one of the most unloved poses. It only takes a few seconds for the burn to spread down your quads. I instantly thought, "Oh sh*t - is she going to make us hold this for long? Please let it be for just one breath. How long?! HOW LONG?!?!?" And then came my realization. I had no idea how long I'd be holding the pose. Absolutely no way of knowing. Beyond that, I had no control over what she would say next. Hmmm...
It's like life, right? Why do we worry, or even waste brain space just thinking about things that are entirely out of our control? By the way, she did make us hold the pose for a while. And as soon as I stopped wondering when the pose would end, I was able to breathe a lot easier and just embrace the burn.
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